The 10 Arguments You're Using to Stay Stuck
A complete list of the rationalisations people use to delay a move they've already decided on — with a direct rebuttal for each.
Most people who don't move abroad don't stay because they made a considered decision to stay. They stay because they kept finding reasons to wait a bit longer, and eventually stopped noticing that the waiting had become the position.
The arguments below are the most common mechanisms for that process. They share a feature: each one is partially true, which is what makes them useful. A completely false argument is easy to dismiss. A 40% true argument can run for years.
Read these as diagnostic questions, not accusations. If one doesn't apply to you, skip it. If one produces a defensive response, stay with it.
“I need to find the right destination first.”
There is no right destination. There are several good-enough ones. Portugal, Georgia, Mexico, and Vietnam would all improve your current situation relative to your current situation. You don't need the optimal answer — you need a defensible one. If you've been researching for more than a year and still can't name a shortlist, the destination isn't the problem.
Browse destinations“I'm waiting until I have enough saved.”
Name the number. Write it down. If you can't name it, you're not waiting to save money — you're using saving money as an open-ended pause mechanism. The number keeps moving because it was never really about the number. If you can name it, great: calculate the date at your current savings rate and set a calendar reminder.
Calculate your runway“I need to find remote work first.”
This is the most legitimate item on the list. If your income is location-dependent, you genuinely need to solve this before going. But 'I need remote work' and 'I've been actively pursuing remote work for 90 days' are different statements. If you haven't set a deadline and treated it like a project, you're not waiting for remote work — you're using it as cover.
“My lease runs out in [future month].”
Excellent. You have a date. The question is what happens when that date arrives. If the plan is to renew, you've answered your own question. If the plan is not to renew, then your lease ending is a feature, not a barrier. Book a reconnaissance trip to your top choice before the renewal decision comes up. Then you'll have data instead of theory.
“I need to figure out my tax situation first.”
You need a one-hour consultation with a cross-border accountant who works with expats, not six more months of Reddit threads and blog posts written in 2019. The complexity is real but finite. A professional will tell you, specifically, what your situation looks like. That conversation costs $200–400 and eliminates the uncertainty entirely. The uncertainty is not eliminated by more informal research.
“My family or partner isn't on board.”
This is real and deserves respect — but it has two very different versions. Version one: you've had a direct, honest conversation about it and they've expressed clear objections you're working through together. Version two: you haven't fully raised it because you're afraid of what they'll say. If it's version two, you don't have a resistant partner. You have a conversation you're avoiding. The partner alignment tool exists for this.
“I should visit first.”
Correct. You should visit. Stop saying you should visit and book the trip. A 10-day reconnaissance trip to your top choice destination will resolve more uncertainty than any amount of remote research. If cost is the barrier, budget for it specifically — it's an investment in a decision you've been making for years. If you can't justify a trip to the place you're 'seriously considering' moving to, reconsider how serious you are.
“The political situation might change.”
It might. Political situations everywhere are unstable right now — including where you currently live. Notice that you're applying a higher evidence bar to the destination than to home. You're not waiting for home to prove it's stable; you're waiting for the destination to prove it's stable. That's not risk management — it's motivated reasoning in favour of the status quo.
“I'm waiting for the right moment.”
There is no right moment, in the same way there is no right house, right partner, or right time to have children. The right moment is constructed, not found. People who moved didn't wait for conditions to be optimal — they decided the costs of staying exceeded the costs of going. You're not waiting for the right moment. You're waiting until the decision feels less risky. It won't. It gets easier once you're on the other side.
Take the Reality Check“I don't speak the language.”
Neither did anyone currently living there, at first. Specifically: Portugal, Estonia, Georgia, the UAE, and the Philippines all have expat communities that function entirely in English. Vietnam has a thriving expat scene in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City. Germany and the Netherlands have among the highest English fluency in the world. Language is a reason to prepare, not a reason to delay the decision. The preparation can happen in parallel. It doesn't need to happen before.
See English levels by countryNone of these arguments are made in bad faith. People who use them aren't being dishonest — they're navigating real uncertainty with imperfect tools.
The problem is that 'I'm not ready yet' is structurally identical whether you're six months from being ready or six years from being ready. From the inside, they feel the same. The only way to tell the difference is to look at the arguments you're using and ask whether they're pointing at something that will actually change — or whether they're pointing at something that will simply be replaced by the next argument when it resolves.
If you've recognised more than three of these, that's a useful data point. It doesn't mean you should move. It means your relationship with the decision deserves a clearer look.